Do You Remember?
by Trunks1
Summary: Rinoa's outlook on her relationship with Squall and how it's affected her life. Sometimes, true love isn't what it first seems. (songfic)


Do You Remember?  
  
by Trunks  
  
song by Phil Collins  
  
  
  
We never talked about it  
But I hear the blame was mine  
I'd call you up to say I'm sorry  
But I wouldn't want to waste your time  
  
  
  
[ Two hours and ten minutes. That's how long I've been sitting here, staring out the window, my   
gaze occasionally falling upon the phone.  
I'm acting like a scared child. I should just call you up and appologize, then things will be   
okay, right?  
  
No.. How can I appologize when I don't even know what I did? Was it even my fault this time,   
Squall?   
I keep asking myself, but I don't think it's anyone's fault. It was just a disagreement, all   
couples have disagreements. It's what makes them stronger.  
  
How many times have we fought now? It's funny, I can't even remember what we fought about in   
the first place.  
Wasn't it something about an upcoming assignment? Maybe it was your birthday..  
  
I don't know, Squall, I just don't know. Do you even know what we fought about? If I called you   
up and questioned you, would you have an answer?  
Probably not. ]  
  
  
  
'Cos I love you, but I can't take any more  
There's a look I can't describe in your eyes  
Yes we could try, like we tried before  
When you kept on telling me those lies  
  
  
  
[ I stopped when you walked in the room, taking my eyes off Selphie's arrangments for the   
Garden Festival to put them onto you. I bet you didn't know you had that effect on me.   
All you have to do is walk into the room and my mind stops focusing.   
  
Because I love you. I love you so much that it's hurting me inside, every night and every   
day that I'm with you.  
I feel as if I could never be away from you, yet you drive me insane whenever we're together.  
  
I guess this is what true love is, Squall. Your on top of the world of awhile, then everything   
starts to hurt.  
Your cold remarks, your lack of emotion...  
  
No, it's not your fault. It was never your fault, Squall. I always expected too much of you.  
I wanted you to be someone you weren't. I wanted you to care, to be happy, to live your life as   
a human being.  
  
But you didn't want that. Or maybe you did...  
  
Is that why your putting up with me, Squall? Because I'm trying to help you?...  
  
I love you, but, at the same time, I can't stand the thought of spending the rest of my life   
with you.  
Because, unlike you, I need emotion. I need to know that you care about me and I need you to   
tell me.  
  
I need you to hold me and tell me that you love me, so that I can smile at you and think to   
myself how lucky I am.  
  
But I don't want to make you do any of that, Squall. I want you to be yourself, but, at the   
same time, I can't help but hate the way you are. ]  
  
  
  
Do you remember...?  
  
There seemed no way to make up  
'Cos it seemed your mind was set  
And the way you looked it told me  
It's a look I know I'll never forget  
  
  
  
[ I remember now. Oh, it must have been last year. Yes, I don't think I could forget.  
The day before our one year anniversary, we met in the 'secret area'. If I remember   
correctly, I felt strange.  
  
I had so much to say to you, but we spent the larger portion of our time out there not   
saying a word.  
  
But, now that I think about it, we didn't really need words, did we? I'm not even sure that   
you actually ever told me that we weren't meant for each other.  
You just looked over at me for a moment and frowned.   
  
Your unhappy with me, Squall, I know you are. I can see it in your eyes. They were once so   
full of emotion, but now they are dull.  
But, that's okay. I don't mind. I want you to be happy, Squall.  
  
Even if I'm not your girlfriend, I'm still your friend. ]  
  
  
  
You could've come over to my side  
You could've let me know  
You could've tried to see the difference between us  
But it seemed too far for you to go.  
  
  
  
[ We just weren't meant for each other, were we?   
  
I miss you, even now. I love you, Squall, I did then and I do now. Love doesn't simply go   
away, it stays.  
Even after you broke my heart, I still love you. And I don't know why, Squall. I ask myself   
how I could still love you, after everything we went through.  
  
And I never come up with an answer.   
  
I just... I wish I knew why we got together in the first place. No, I want to know why you stayed   
with me for so long, if you never loved me.  
  
I suppose it's my fault, for not realizing sooner. I should have noticed, but I was too blinded by my own affection towards you. ]  
  
  
Do you remember...?  
  
Through all of my life  
In spite of all the pain  
You know people are funny sometimes  
'cos they just can't wait  
To get hurt again  
  
  
  
[ Do you remember when we got back together, after all that happened? It happened after you   
got hurt on one of the missions.   
I rushed to see you and you looked over at me and told me that you loved me.   
  
It blinded me, more than anything. I faintly remember that I started to cry and I held onto   
you, thinking to myself that I had been wrong all along.  
  
How long did we stay together then? 3 months? Hm.. If even that.   
It wasn't a long time, was it? At first, it seemed as if we were stronger than before, ready   
to tackle anything, but it didn't last.  
  
We fought again, and again, and again, until you left. That surprised me. You just turned   
around, slammed the door and left.   
We were so angry then. I guess that was one of our bigger fights. But, when you walked out,   
it made me so upset..  
  
Because, I knew that it meant that I loved you and you didn't return it. I was heartbroken, of   
course, but I got over it.  
Two days after our fight, I packed most of my stuff and left. There wasn't any reason for me   
to be there anymore.  
I wasn't a SeeD, I wasn't your girlfriend, I was just a burden. ]  
  
  
  
Do you remember...?  
  
There are things we won't recall  
Feelings we'll never find  
It's taken so long to see it  
Cos we never seemed to have the time  
  
  
[ It was 5 years later, when I actually saw one of my friends again. I was shopping in Deling   
City, when I ran into Quistis.   
She hadn't changed that much, at least not physically, but she seemed a lot happier. At first,   
I didn't know why, but I found out that her and Seifer had long ago gotten married and were   
happily living in Balamb.  
  
It surprised me at first, but then I realized how happy I was for her. You probably didn't know,   
but Quistis and I were really good friends.   
  
A few weeks later, I received an invitation to a wedding. It wasn't as big of a surprise to find out that Irvine and Selphie were getting married. Those two, unlike us, were meant for each other.  
  
I saw Zell at the wedding and, from the looks of it, he had actually matured slightly. Not so much that he wasn't the same Zell we all love, but he had definitely calmed down.  
From what I heard from him, he's been doing pretty well as a SeeD.   
  
And you, Squall. I haven't seen you since I left. You weren't at the wedding, were you? Or, if you were, I didn't see you.  
Irvine said he called you up to be his best man, but you said you wouldn't be able to make it down.  
  
I guess your work was just more important than other things, right? ]  
  
  
  
There was always something more important to do  
More important to say  
But "I love you" wasn't one of those things   
And now it's too late  
  
Do you remember...?  
  
  
[ So, Squall, this is good-bye. I haven't seen you in years and I don't plan to. If I run into you on the street, then I'll smile and we'll talk about times long past. But, I won't go looking for you. I ran back to you too many times to do it again.  
  
Actually, I've moved on. I haven't found anyone else, but I'm perfectly happy here in Timber with Angelo. I still see the others a lot, since they drop by from time to time.  
  
I could say what we had was fun while it lasted, but I won't. It wasn't fun, it was painful.  
But, that's how love is, right?  
  
So, Squall, this is good-bye. ]  
  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Before you ask, no, I do not hate Squall. But, I made him a real jerk hehe ^_^  
  
  
The song Do You Remember? is by Phil Collins and is also ©opyright to him. Final Fantasy VIII   
is ©opyright to Squaresoft and such and I also don't own it.  
  
Thankies for reading :) 


End file.
